The happy(ness) endings

For inspiration: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=963Tt7CEt2s

from 10/11/2010 (that's what you get when you go to the library late at night...)

My life is a movie. A constantly ongoing movie. And though I sometimes like to watch drama, I'm always directing it towards the happy ending. :)

Having said that, why do we sometimes make things that we know will make us feel miserable?

Even if we're happy, especially when we're very happy, we - or maybe should I say "I" to be more specific - do something that will make me feel sentimental, surreal or just sad...
This masochistic almost pattern, however, doesn't mean that I make myself unhappy.

Do you ever feel like 24/7 of smiling is just too overwhelming?
In such moments I sometimes remind myself of something that makes my smile slightly smaller. It can be just a song or a memory of something that's gone. For a moment I remind myself how that felt.

Hapiness is a strange feeling.
It comes and goes.
When you don't have it, you wish you had.
But when you do, you can't stand it either.
Finally, even if you're brave enough to try not to remind yourself of other states, then comes the thought: "If I'm happy; if I'm so genuinely happy - is there anything better than that?" And the thought that there is nothing better to wait for is a sad conclusion.